I have written quite a few articles on the importance of style. The key thing to remember about style is that it is irrelevant if the man underneath the style is underdeveloped. We’ve all seen men who had nice clothes and material goods but had a poor character. Having all the accessories in the world are useless if the man underneath has a rotten soul.
A man seeking to develop himself must start from the inside and work his way out. The man must start with his character. His character is a combination of his personality and his principles. Regarding his personality, he has to be comfortable with his natural temperament. If he is extraverted he must be comfortable with that. If he is introverted he must be comfortable with that. As long as his personality doesn’t cause him to harm himself or others he must embrace who he is. Having a harmful personality brings me to another important point about manhood. A man must have a code of living.
A man’s personality is what he is born with. A man’s code is what he develops. A man’s code represents the principles he develops to guide how he interacts with the environment in which he lives. A man’s code represents how he deals with people. His code informs him on how he will treat them and what he will tolerate. A man’s code also represents how he will fulfill his life purpose.
All men need a purpose in their lives. The very nature of masculine energy is that it empowers an individual to take action. Masculine energy agitates the man it flows through to do something. A man can focus this energy through a life purpose. He has to have something that he wants to accomplish in life. In developing that purpose a man has to have a code as to what he will and will not do to accomplish that purpose.
The key in having a code is that it is something that a man must enforce through self-discipline. Many males walk through life having their actions controlled by forces outside of themselves. Those forces on a physical level are laws enforced by the police and military. On a mental level behavior is enforced through religion and other cultural mores. For the man to truly be a man he must develop his own code that is enforced through his own self-discipline. Only then is he truly a man.
At the core of who he is a man must be authentic. He has to be able to show people who he is. Many males wear the mask of a man but when they reach the crossroads they fail. The mask can only get a man so far. In order to really be a man he must not be afraid to show his face. This is in the face of anything. He must be a man in the streets and on the job. He must be a man on the ball court and in the bedroom.
The style and accessories are important but at the core it is always about the man.
Sit down and imagine the following scenario.
You rise in the morning from your king size bed that sits on a solid oak frame after having a good night’s sleep. It’s a Saturday morning after a great week for your business. You walk into your bathroom next to your bedroom to shower and groom yourself. Once you finish you go into your huge walk-in closet to find something to wear during the day. You settle on a nice custom polo shirt and a nice pair of jeans and some walking shoes.
You walk into the spacious kitchen to fix and eat a nutritious breakfast. You sit down at the kitchen table with your smartphone to check texts from the managers at your business. Everything is going well. While eating you check your various back accounts and stock portfolios. The money is flowing nicely.
You walk into your living room and turn on your big screen TV to check on what’s happening in the world. Satisfied that the world is still the chaotic place it was the night before you turn off the TV and turn on your sound system that plays some soft jazz. You sit and contemplate what you need to do for the day.
You decide to go for a drive in your late model sports car. It’s a sunny day out. Perfect for a ride through the country side. As you are out you stop by a shopping mall to get a few things from a high end men’s store. You pick out an expensive suit that will be tailored and ready for you in a few days for an important presentation. You get a nice pair of shoes and some very good cologne.
You drive back home and relax for bit as you channel surf between ballgames and silly romantic comedies while taking an occasional text from the managers running the business. As an owner there’s no real day off.
As you relax you get a call from the beautiful woman with whom you plan to spend the evening. She makes small talk and seeks reassurance that the date will happen. You let her know that the plans are still on and to make sure she looks nice and beautiful. You tire of watching the games and comedies and decide to take a nap.
Later you wake up and put on a very dapper suit with a fitted shirt and matching shoes. The right amount of cologne is applied and you are ready to leave. Instead of taking your sports car you decide to drive your luxury car. After all you are going to a classy restaurant and play.
You pick up your date and her stunning beauty almost makes you lose your cool. Almost. She gasps as she looks at you from head to toe admiring the fresh haircut you got the day before, the nice suit, and the fly shoes.
You and your date go to one of the most exclusive restaurants in the city. The type of restaurant that doesn’t list prices because if you have to ask you can’t afford to pay. It’s also the type of establishment that one needs to make reservations for months in advance. You can show up at any time though because you got it like that.
You have a nice dinner and engage in stimulating banter with your date that is both intellectually and erotically intoxicating. After dinner you take her to the hottest play in town.
After the play you return to your place for a nightcap. You play soft jazz on your sound system and engage in a sensuous slow dance with your date. A dance that ends on your king size bed that sits on a solid oak frame.
That, my friend, is the good life.
In the game of man gets woman the general consensus is that a man needs one of two things to get a woman. They either need to be very good looking or have the ability to connect with women via great conversation. It’s hard to argue with either one of these strategies. We have all seen women swoon over very good looking men. At the same time we have seen men who may not have blessed by the genetic lottery manage to get very attractive women. People will call it game, convo, rap, or a mouthpiece. So what about the men who are not very good looking and are not blessed with the gift of gab?
A reality is that only a small percentage of men have the type of looks that cause a woman to want to have sex with them like that. Indeed men with those types of looks tend to be rare. On the other hand the number of men with the gift of gab is relatively small as well. Most men are good if they can have an intelligent and entertaining conversation with a few women in their social circle, let alone a variety of women in different settings.
Despite lacking great looks and superior conversation skills there are many men who still manage to meet and date attractive women. The thing that these men have is style. A man’s style is the great equalizer. What do I mean when I say style?
At some point in history these was a man who realized that he wasn’t the hunk that women would go crazy over because of sheer physical appeal. That same man also realized that when he spoke to women he didn’t get the same reactions as a few other men. This pioneer discovered the great equalizer by accident. He must have been walking around wearing animal fur different from all the other men. He also had a string of animal fangs hanging around his neck. He noticed that the attractive women started paying more attention to him. He was able to start mating with these women. The man discovered style.
A man’s style is based on a combination of his grooming, clothing, and accessories. Women go just as crazy and maybe even crazier over a man who has style. I remember when I was in a retail store one time speaking with a friend who was a sales clerk. She and a few other female clerks were going crazy over a man who was wearing a beard, lumberjack style clothes, and a tattoo sleeve on his arm. They said the man’s looks was average but his style was outstanding.
A man can compete with the hunks, and smooth talkers if he has the right haircut, eyeglass frames, shirt, suit, pants, coat, and especially shoes. Some women will reject or accept a man based on nothing but his shoes. Women really appreciate a man’s style. The beauty of it is that any man can develop a style.
The old school players and pimps knew this. That’s why they dressed the way they did. Even now many players are clothes hounds. They know that with the right look and also fragrance that had a strong chance at getting the women they desired. Every single man must develop a signature style.